~ You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

~ You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

~ When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

~ You can compress the diameter of your rolled-up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.

~ Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

~ A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

~ A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.

~ A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

~ You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.

~ The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

~ Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."

~ The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

~ It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

~ Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting the bells on the bears.